Tuesday, 01 May 2012

  • I Can't Find My Paddle




    I am going on my first outing today since leaving the hospital.

    Let's hope I don't faint in the McAlister's Deli parking lot.  On the way in, anyway.  I need that tuna salad on baguette. And that brownie.  I don't mind as much if I faint on the way out.

    I wouldn't even go out, but we have to head to the bank to have something notarized.

    Since we will be close to the deli, I might as well stop and get my tuna salad fix.  And my brownie fix. 

    I thought you would see it my way.

    You mangy varmints are good to me.


    My youngest son rode his first real big bull last night.  I will not watch the video. I will not watch the video. I will not watch the video.

    My next to youngest son is moving to another rental house today. He will go from $150 a month rent to $450.00 a month rent.  Hopefully, this will get him heat (now that winter is over) and running water.

    My next to next youngest son just returned from two week Army maneuvers.  His day job is working security for the city jail. 

    My next to next to next youngest son could be living in Alaska for all I know.

    My next to next to next to next youngest son (which would be my oldest son ) is graduating from basic training in two weeks. 

    And you people wonder why I am on anxiety meds.


    Thank you for all the sweet well wishes on my last post.  I hope to be back on xanga and catch up with you all soon. 

    @perelandra30 , while we are out today, we will mail your package.  Thank you for being so patient!

    Oh and @saintvi , I totally had to explain the card to Meteorology Man.  Went right over his sophisticated pretty head.




Friday, 27 April 2012

  • Just Call Me Wile E Coyote


    You know the scene, where Wile E looks at the camera with that look of, I'm toast, and then plummets to the earth in that infamous poof of dust.  Like Wile E, what I am chasing is just as clever and evasive as that coyote's road runner.  Health. Strength. Ability to do the things I love...without fainting.    Who would have thought picking up my hoe and hacking five little weeds in my garden would have landed my puny butt in the hospital. 

    Awhile back, I started experiencing little episodes that mimicked heart attack symptoms.  I went to my dr thinking it might possibly be a thyroid issue.  My thyroid was a little low, she put me on meds and the counts balanced, but the symptoms were still active. 

    She then thought I might be having panic attacks, which totally threw me.  She put me on anxiety meds.  But, the attacks continued, getting closer and closer together, until finally never leaving.  But total loss of energy and fainting doesn't fit the diagnosis. 

    She put this ragged coyote in the hospital. Nothing better than being scarcely covered in an open-backed gown, without your double d apparatus, while the tech guy gives you an echogram of your heart. Do you know where the heart is? Right behind the left double d.  I now know what it feels like to be a fondled dairy cow. 

    The fondling, the arms full of holes, the (not)sleeping with an IV and heart monitor were nothing compared to the heart stress test.  Not the treadmill one.  The one where they inject you with chemicals and try to make your heart explode.  I honestly thought I was going to die.  I'm such a wimp.

    Thankfully, the technician was an angel and talked me through it. I didn't even feel him insert the IV.  He told me, Baby Girl, if you're going to have a heart attack, this is the place to do it.  I laughed out loud. And then I might have whimpered.  Seriously, that was one intense test. My heart had totally convinced my legs they had run ten miles in five minutes, even though I was laying on the table.

    I've never been so relieved to get through something.  I was weak walking back to the waiting room to meet Meteorology Man, but  absolutely so happy.  I totally refrained from gasping the horrors of my test since the waiting room was full of unsuspecting souls.  I wanted to hug all the people and give them my phone number so we could form a We Survived the Stress Test support group.

    Seriously, if God ever takes a poll and asks me, Hey Wild Woman, would you rather lose your ranch to another tornado or take another stress test, I would totally chose the tornado.  Yes, I would.

    Would you rather wrestle a snake or take another stress test. 

    Snake.

    Jump off a cliff or take another stress test.

    Jump off a cliff.

    Eat a big crunchy bug or take another stress test.

    Big crunchy bug, please.

    The cardiologist is suppose to review the test results today, though the technician thought every thing looked good.  Or maybe he was just telling me I did good. I don't know, it's all a bit fuzzy. 

    All I know, it's good to be back home and as soon as this dust clears, me and Jack are kicking some road runner butt.






    I will try and get to the private messages as soon as I can~

Monday, 23 April 2012

  • It's All About Me and Jessie Giveaway (winner announced)



    Awhile back, Saintvi revealed my cartoon twin as Jessie, the feisty cowgirl from Toy Story who is best buds with Woody the cowboy.  Jessie and I have quite a few things in common, red hair, loud yee-haws and phobic issues, and like Jessie, I did not fall in love with a cowboy.  I fell in love with a Buzz Lightyear.  In other words, I married a hero. 

    Hero, a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities. And his hunkiness.

    Okay, I added the hunkiness part.  Heroes are almost always on a mission.  They need recognition, praise and a reason to pose like heroes.  In all honestly, they are a bit narcissistic.  Sometimes, I am too busy trying to blend into the wallpaper or holding conversations with neurotic chihuahuas to stop and applaud my hero's latest act of heroism.  This is not to criticize narcissistic folks, I adore my hero.  The fact that he endures a houseful of neurotic canine proves that he is indeed a man of distinguished courage and ability.  What ordinary man would make sure his Jessie had all she needed to run a rescue for messed up canine? And look so hunky in the process.

    So in honor of all the Buzz Lightyears,
    in honor of all the heroes,
    I am giving away this Cowgirl Jessie package.

    Because I am narcissistic that way. 




    Your It's All About Me and Jesse Giveaway will include:

    Sing N' Yodel Jessie Doll (4+ years)

    V.Reader Animated E-Book System (3-7 years)

    V.Reader Toy Story 3  (3-5 years)

    AA/8 Duracell Batteries




    To enter this random drawing,
    leave a comment telling me about your hero/heroine.

    Deadline to enter is Saturday, 4-21-12 by high noon CT.
    Winner will be announced no later than Sunday.
    I will be time stamping this post.

    You do not need to be a hero to enter.

    If you still want to leave a comment, but do not wish to be entered to receive the package, please let me know in your comment, so I won't add your name to the pot.

    You must be able to give me a mailing address.




    Okay you mangy varmints, to infinity and beyond, cowgirl style!

    edit:
    Sorry I didn't get the winner announced yesterday, having technical difficulties. 

    You all have some amazing heroes, thank you for sharing your stories with me.  Now let's draw the name...




    and the winner is @perelandra30

    Private message me a mailing address and I will get your package on its way to you.

    Congrats!



Thursday, 19 April 2012

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

  • Morning Conversation of the Freaks




    Wild Woman: Jack, have you hugged your chicken today?

    Cactus Jack:  A chicken?

    WW: What, you never got a chicken?

    CJ: A chicken?

    WW: Well, every neurotic chihuahua needs a chicken.

    CJ: A chicken?

    WW: We'll get you your very own chicken.
     
    Josey: I want my own chicken, too!

    WW: You are too young for your own chicken.

    Josey: I want my own chicken!

    WW: You would bark at your chicken.

    Joesy: I want my own chicken!

    WW: Your chicken would be too nervous, it wouldn't lay any eggs.
     

    Okay, fess up.  I need to hear some of your critter conversations. 





WildWomanOfTheWest

The Watering Hole

Hot tempers start fights; a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.

Proverbs 15:18

Pulse

Oklahoma Girl

Just an Oklahoma girl wading through the glorious horse poop of life, saving one neurotic chihuahua at a time. Or was it neurotic chihuahuas wading through the horse poop of life, saving one Oklahoma girl at a time? I forget. I will ask the chihuahuas.

All Things Wild

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