There’s so much delight floating around this place, it’s hard to contain it all on a daily basis.  The same can be said for neurotic woodland fairies playing their imaginary flutes, but we just let them have their way.  And the heathen hounds, there’s no containing them either.

 
 

All that aside, I have chosen some beauty to share with you.  Our daughter and granddaughter are seriously thinking of moving to Oklahoma.  She had been considering it before, but then that blasted tornado scared her right back to Connecticut.  To have them close and see them more than once a year, *happy sigh*  is about as delightful as delightful gets.  Even better than McAlister Deli’s pumpkin pie cheesecake. 

I finally got around to decorating our tree.  I didn’t want to drag out the big trees this year, just wanted to keep it simple.  My first attempt was an epic Pinterest fail.  That tomato cage wrapped in lights looked so hideous, even Meteorology Man laughed.  I wanted to scowl at him, but had to give into the laughter myself.

 

This is my Plan B.  I like it.  Rustic.  Vintage.  Simple.

The Elf Boy wandered over while I was decorating the tree last night and wanted to know if he could help.

I said no.

Then he asked me if we could sing Christmas carols.

I said no.  I was so enjoying the quiet of the evening.

And then he started whining, so I agreed to ONE Christmas carol.

But, when he couldn’t hit that Oh Holy Night note after four or five tries,

I decided it should indeed, be a Silent Night.

*Elf on the Redneck Shelf will run through Christmas.  If you wish to view them all, just click on the elfontheredneckshelf tag.

*Delightful December: @BohemianLotus has challenged us to find something positive from each day during the month of December in hopes of creating healthy perspectives in our lives.  DD#7

I fell in love with my husband, as I got to know him.
I did not fall in love with him because of what other people told me about him.

It is the same with You.

Others cannot try and convince someone they should love You.
It is something they will discover or not discover on their own.

I trust You, so I do not interfere,
for it is man’s methodology and religion
that builds the wall between You and your Creation.

The same should be said for one another.
I love the people, because I got to know them without expectation and obligation.

Thank You,
for not forcing Yourself,
but letting our spiritual natures be our own.

Some say, but if they do not repent before they die
they will surely burn in hell.

I say they unknowingly promote a false god.
You are bigger than deadlines.

For when soul leaves shell
and comes face to face with Creator,
man’s distorted images of god will no longer obstruct our view.

We will recognize genuine love and melt into Your arms. 

* Elf on the Redneck Shelf will continue tomorrow.

*Delightful December: @BohemianLotus has challenged us to find something positive from each day during the month of December in hopes of creating healthy perspectives in our lives.  DD#6

DD#5: Three of my sons surprised me the other night with a visit to the ranch. I love watching them interact as adults, considering I spent the majority of their youth determined they were trying to kill one another off. Their animated interaction is music to this mother’s soul. 

Jeremiah: I only laugh this hard when I am home.

There I go crying again.  *happy sigh*

Sadly, there will be no Elf on the Redneck Shelf today. The little booger seems to have runaway, or maybe he is just playing with the puppies again. No need to call 911 just yet, I’m sure we’ll find the sweet, little elf soon.  If he shows up, I will let you know.

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Please ignore that noise in the bedroom, probably just a mouse stuck in a trap.
Now to watch the rest of my movie, Misery. It’s such a delightful little film, don’t you think? 

*Elf on the Redneck Shelf will run through Christmas.  If you wish to view them all, just click on the elfontheredneckshelf tag.

*Delightful December: @BohemianLotus has challenged us to find something positive from each day during the month of December in hopes of creating healthy perspectives in our lives.

Meteorology Man has been bugging me forever to open a Facebook account.  I’m not for sure why he would want this, it would not be to his advantage.  And it would require a whole lot of reserve on my part, to not harass him on his postings.  I even hijack his site on occasion.  Consider yourself lucky you are not married to me.  I’m just not right in the head.   But let’s be honest, he knew that before he married me, considering the first time he laid eyes on me I was hootin’ and hollarin’ while standing on a bar stool.  I’m thinking he must be partial to not right in the head women.

Which totally explains this insatiable need, for me, his not right in the head woman, to have a FB account, and to actually claim me as his wife.  It’s almost like he wants to fly me as his personal freak flag. 

The other day he was bugging me again to open a FB account and I flippantly threw out a pretty safe and empty offer, When you open a Pinterest account, I will open a FB account.  I assumed that would be the end of it.

Well, pin a tail on my behind and call me a donkey, danged if he didn’t do it.

Here’s the proof.

And here’s my end of the deal.

Friend me, if you like.  Or just kill me and put me out of my misery  Either one is fine. 

Oh, and Elf Boy will not be getting his own Facebook.   I’ve seen to that.

Elf in a Jar.  It’s the latest Hostess Gift craze on Pinterest.  Just ask Meterology Man. 

(edit) We have a bit of a disagreement here at the ranch. Maybe you could help us out.  If I have to be somewhat active on FB, then I believe it is only right that MM continue to add to his pin board every week.  What do you think?

And for those of you worried, Xanga is my homeboy.  I got yo back. 

Whoa there Nelly, I cannot believe all the FB friend requests.  I could use yet another favor. If you FB friend request me, could you please PM me to let me know your Xanga name/FB name so I know that I am opening my private info to someone I actually know?  Thanks.  MM thinks one of you mangy varmints might try to kidnap Cactus Jack.  And we can’t have that, can we?

*Elf on the Redneck Shelf will run through Christmas.  If you wish to view them all, just click on the elfontheredneckshelf tag.

DD#4: I spotted a box of gluten-free Rice Crispy cereal the other day and that was justification enough for me to make Rice Crispy Treats.  I’ve never made this sticky little delight, but it seemed easy enough considering a six year old can do it.  I even threw in some of those little caramel balls for Meteorology Man. 

Mixing was a challenge.  I must have really been struggling, because MM offered to do it for me.  I told him I could do it, how ridiculous.  I had my cake pans greased and the wax paper was ready.  I started to pour the mixture into the pans.  Doesn’t really pour, does it?  Anyway, I was balancing the big stainless steel bowl on the edge of the pan and losing control as each second passed, when I started to press the mixture into the pan, instinctively using my bare hand, despite the fact that my trusty wax paper was sitting right next to the bowl. 

What a delightful mess. 

My hand was coated.  I finished the task one handed and proceeded to eat the mess off my other hand, bite by bite. 

Even the elf was rolling his eyes.  Go on and laugh Elf Boy….

I’ve pinned a sweet little recipe called Grilled Elf Kabobs.

*Elf on the Redneck Shelf will run through Christmas.  If you wish to view them all, just click on the elfontheredneckshelf tag.

*Delightful December: @BohemianLotus has challenged us to find something positive from each day during the month of December in hopes of creating healthy perspectives in our lives.

When Elf did manage to pick himself up from the driveway,
I helped dust him off and invited him inside to meet the welcoming crew
and have some refreshments.

Poor Elf didn’t even get to drink his Christmas cocoa. 

Delightful December #3: I have cried all day.  Yes, this is a positive thing.  It was my first day Paxil free.  The weaning is finally over.  It feels so wonderful to be able to sense, feel, respond, hear The One who speaks to my soul again.  As much as the medication was needed for a season, part of me was missing.  It’s like I had a spiritual limp, hobbling along the path with no direction. 

So, you can only imagine when I read these words from @murisopsis, I had to reach for my roll of toilet paper (I’m fancy like that) to wipe up the snotty mess.

@WildWomanOfTheWest – Tamy is one of the people whose blog inspires me to be better than I am. Her heart must be bigger than all of Oklahoma. On my wish list of xangans I’d like to meet, her name is right up there at the top. She has battled and is battling health issues that make my sciatica seem insignificant. She has opened her heart to so many children that are now her sons and daughters. I am inspired to be more generous with my heart. She rescues the little dogs (and some big ones too) that need her gentle spirit to heal them. She reminds me why I went into the veterinary field. Thanks Tamy!

Thank you, Val. 

*Elf on the Redneck Shelf will run through Christmas.  If you wish to view them all, just click on the elfontheredneckshelf tag.

*Delightful December: @BohemianLotus has challenged us to find something positive from each day during the month of December in hopes of creating healthy perspectives in our lives.

Putting little elves throughout the house to watch over your children during the holiday season was after my maternal time, I guess.  Personally, I prefer a Doberman.  I had never even heard of it until OBL (@ordinarybutloud) mentioned it in one of her posts.  This woman cracks me up. If you do not read her, you are missing out.  She is one witty bitty.  In a good witty bitty way. 

Anyway, because I am a bit more twisted than the average sugar plum fairy, I will be running a series called Elf on the Redneck Shelf through Christmas.  Not really appropriate for younger children, or fragile adults, but my heathen tribe would have loved it.  Considering their mother, this shouldn’t surprise you.

Let’s check and see if our little unsuspecting elf friend has arrived here at the ranch.

Poor thing, never knew what hit him. 

And because I was able to lay on my belly in the driveway and take this shot in the warm Oklahoma sunshine, this will count as my Delightful December #2.  And it made the elf laugh when my back locked up and I got stuck out there.  It’s all good.
 

Delightful December: @BohemianLotus has challenged us to find something positive from each day during the month of December in hopes of creating healthy perspectives in our lives.

Despite that the Oklahoma wind was sweeping down the plain with the intensity of raging buffalo, we hit a new record high of 77 degrees on this December, 1st, 2012.

Oh, and I didn’t run over anyone with my grocery cart today.
Instead, I shook my invisible glitter wand and spread a bit of Wild Woman love.

Delightful December: @BohemianLotus has challenged us to find something positive from each day during the month of December in hopes of creating healthy perspectives in our lives. 

number…

number…

oh h e double toothpicks, I have forgotten what number this is,
but she is on her way home.

She looks as though she could be Pecos Bill’s little sister. 
The rescue called her Tiny, but of course we will need to remedy that with a proper Watering Hole Ranch name.

Let me hear your best wild west names!

(edit) You all have come up with some fun names, well and some of them are a bit greenhornish.  But, that’s why I love you.  Anyway, when @chronic_masticator offered Coyote Gypsy, I was completely smitten.  And when our new little varmint started howling with a quirk, that was confirmation enough for me.  Coyote it is.  Our family dog of 16 years was named Gypsy, so we will just call her Coyote. Thanks Amanda!

Just a reminder on the names of the rest of the pack.
Boomer Swooner, airdale
Bella Starr, hound/pit mix
Cactus Jack, chihuahua mix
Pecos Bill, chihuahua/rat terrier mix
Sadie, border terrier
Josey, yorkie/chihuahua mix
Yosemite Sami, yorkie/chihuahua mix
Annie Oakley, cairn terrier
Calamity Jane, cairn terrier
and now, Coyote, jack russell/rat terrier mix

Coyote’s personality is sweet, light, bouncy. She’s attentive, considering she is somewhere new.  Right now, she is getting to know Jack, Josey and Sami.  Cactus Jack is always the first to be introduced to the latest addition.  He’s the Big Enchilada around here, and for good reason.  He has a very balanced spirit with the pack.  With new peoples, not so much.

Thank you for all the ideas, but most of all, thank you for not reminding me I am the crazy dog lady.  I hear that if you give it a name and have a business card, they don’t send you to the insane asylum.  Since the name of our little town means Barking Waters, I hereby crown thee, Barking Waters Dog Refuge.

Now to order those business cards before the men with white jackets arrive.

Hotel reservations  CHECK

Paleo options restaurants  CHECK

Doggie sitter  CHECK

I was still really too weak to get away for the weekend, but it was the best I had felt in many months, so we headed to the Northeast region of Oklahoma to check out this property. 

Wild Woman, on your stinky bed of death, did you forget you had already found a place?  You know, the Prairie House with wild mustangs and views that made your knees weak? 

Um no, I did not.  I suppose I owe you an update.  Someone else came along and bought the Prairie House before we could sell our ranch.  We had a buyer, but we could not come to terms.  Not even close. 

I might have cried. 

But I didn’t.

The Paxil wouldn’t let me.

Seriously, I’m okay with it, though I do still think about it.  I mean, wild mustangs!

Anyway, back to the trip, we did a little junkin’ while we were there.  My goal was to find a few vintage items I have in mind for my Christmas decorating this year.  Since the nest is empty, I am going simple.  The kids have always been the ones to drag the trees out of storage and decorate.  My job was to unwrap the ornaments.  No ornaments this year, only dump trucks and tomato cages.

The highlight of the trip was seeing our son, Jonathan.  It was so good to see his face and hold him close.  To hear his voice.  Sometimes I still see him as a little boy.  Thankful doesn’t even begin to cover what I feel for our relationship.  To be accepted despite the calamity, I do not take it lightly. 

Okay, let me wipe my snotty nose and move on.  MM took our picture while we were waiting for our burgers at Steak n Shake.  Not exactly Paleo, but I was weak and needed those skinny fries with mustard.  As most of you know, I have photographic issues. What is up with my head tilt?  I could have sworn we were cheek to cheek, not top of head to cheek.  I swear, maybe I need to practice these things.  Is there a course I can take?  Basic Photo Pose 101: Learn Not to Embarrass Your Children on FB.

What you cannot see are my baggy britches.  During these last few months, they went from skinny jeans to Snoop Dogg drawers.  It was ridiculous.  I was walking around holding them up, because they literally were threatening to drop to my ankles.  Honestly, how’s a brother do it?

It was worth all the stares.  I had a glorious weekend. 

And because I have been watching The Polar Express for the past two days and cannot get this tune out of my head, I leave you with this. 
You’re welcome. 

HOT! HOT! HOT! WE GOT IT!

Just in case you don’t already know, we have some wonderful books of poetry available this season from our fellow Xangans.  Check them out. 

Now.

Yes, I am pushy.  I am your  poetry pusher in the Xangahood. 
I got the baggy britches to prove it.

The Song of the Banded Tree Snail and Other Tales of Space Travel
by j.e. glaze
@plantinthewindow

Stray Thoughts/Winged Words
by Zakiah Sayeed
@zsa_md
A beautiful review of Zakiah’s work by @rudyhou