So, you my son, turn eighteen today.

They say that is the door to adulthood.

I say you swung that door open wide years ago.

It is not the years that bring maturity, but maybe more so the way we recover.
The way we respond to this beautiful scary wild thing called life.

I love talking with you.
You listen, you make eye contact, you contribute.
You make the other person feel like you really want to be there with them.
That’s rare today.

You are one of my favorite people.
Not because you are my son,
or that you share my love for all things wild west.

More likely, it’s how you treat people.
You’ve always been one to chose benevolence over business.
You will gain far more in your life because of that spirit.

If you survive those bodacious bulls.

I love you, Andrew.

Happy Birthday.

Meteorology Man is out grocery shopping, so I will sneak in a quick update. You know he keeps me in the closet during the day.  I make too much noise and always choose to let loose a war cry when he is in the middle of a conference call.

I just broke up a dog fight. The two littlest ones go at each other like two rabid wolverines.  Josey is giving me a talking to from her sleep crate. I put everyone to bed early. and she is less than pleased.  Sometimes I feel like I have a bunch of toddlers running my house.

We might have a buyer for the guest house.  Young family setting it up for the mother on their land.  This makes my heart warm to know they are taking care of her.  Grandma will be close.

The buyers of our ranch are coming out tomorrow morning to take measurements around the house. He is a professional landscaper and has plans for decking.  I may have to drive by later to see how pretty it looks.  I am so excited for them!  Dreaming and making plans, this place is good for such things.

Tomorrow afternoon, the movers come out to check out our load and give us an estimate. They will need to load it, store it for three weeks and then move it again.  I’m a little nervous for the total.  In our favor, we have very little furniture since we are leaving most of it here.

Josey is still bossing me.

I found a place to board the dogs for three weeks.  That is such a big relief.  I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday when the one I had picked out couldn’t do it because they were going on vacation during that time.  But, I pulled on my big girl britches and got r done.  I’ve asked Macy to take care of Josey during that time, since she’s really too fragile for the kennel.  Yes, the one mercilessly harassing me.  Fragile. ha!

The packing boxes and materials have been ordered. Got them from Lowes, much cheaper than the rental truck places.  Free shipping makes me happy, too.  No gas.  No trip to the city.  No socializing with the peoples.

We are booking our hotel tonight.  Three weeks in a hotel room.  Can I borrow someone’s hamster wheel?

Time to heat up the electric blanket and snuggle in with a Honeymooners flick. 
Love me some Ralph and Ed. 

Remember a few days ago when I told you we were buying the little two bedroom house on forty acres?

Well, scratch that.

The sellers were being less than accommodating with anything, so we opted to not sign their counteroffer.

Neither one of us were feeling comfortable about the size of the house anyway.  I mean, we want to downsize, but going from 3700 sq ft (plus 1400 sq ft guest house) to only 1300 sq ft was a bit too much.  And the fact that so many of you complained about the wallpaper, made the decision even easier.  You can rest easy now. 

So, we got busy and tackled the real estate listings again, because we will be homeless in five weeks.

Can you hear that giant clock ticking? BOOM BOOM  BOOM BOOM BOOM

Found this listing Sunday evening.
Looked at it yesterday at noon.
Agreed on terms and signed the deal this afternoon.

Not homeless.

What the photos do not reveal, is this home is a Mexican style structure. Stucco, wooden beams and beautiful tile.  I did not realize this until we got out of the truck and got a closer look.  I was thrilled.  They just don’t build these in Oklahoma.  I consider this a more than fair compromise for not moving to the desert.  Ironically, this property is wooded.  hahaha.  I HATE being closed in with trees.  I’ve always needed my horizon, open prairie and big sky.  But for whatever reason, it felt right.

The house is half the size of our current ranch house (1800 sq ft) but the ceilings are high and the windows are plenty and big.  I know this makes a big difference for my claustrophobic issues.  The decor is very Mexican farmhouse.  It’s perfect for me and will only need a few touches here and there.

And the best part is, it has a building I can use for my doggie kennel playroom.  The folks lived in this building while they were building the house, so it is already insulated and has all the plumbing I need for two dog washing stations. Walk-in shower for the large dogs and sink for the small dogs.  It also has washer/dryer hook-ups so I can wash the blankies right there in the kennel.  And a toilet.  It has a toilet. This is a glorious thing for a crohnie. 

It already has a hen house, though we will enlarge the coop area for a more free-range feel.

It has a small loafing shed for horses, but lacks perimeter fencing around the whole property (ten acres).  And there is not much area to graze since this is a wooded piece of land.  Since we will be investing for the dog fencing, we really don’t want to invest again in horse fencing. We’ve yet to make the decision to bring the horses.  We may ask the buyers of our ranch if they would like to keep them.  I know they would be happier here on the familiar, beautiful, open land they know. 

I cried today.
Again.
Knowing we will be leaving this place.

But, many good things are on the horizon.
Or should I say in the woods.

Thanks again for being there for me as I make this transition, and a special thank you to @bohemianlotus for offering to foster some of my neurotic puppies.  That meant a lot to me.  Thankfully, they all get to stay with me now, though they will stay in a boarding facility in between moves.  We will obviously close on our ranch before we close on the new place, so we will put all of our things in storage and stay in a hotel during that time.  All is good.  Now we just have to sell the guest house.

I have to get busy packing, not for sure how well this will go considering I am still weak.  But, thankfully my daughter and best friend from Kansas have volunteered to help pack.  I love you Macy and Dona!  All this to tell you, I still will not be around xanga much, but know I will eventually return.

Unless this deal falls through and I come back to tell you we are moving to Montana.

(edit) for those folks who could only see one photo of the house, just click on IMAGES in the left hand corner of the photo and that will bring up the slideshow.

WAWAWA she wailed,

claiming she could no longer take care of her dogs.

Or her horses.

WAWAWA she cried,

when she fell on her backside and bruised it,
along with her ego.

WAWAWA she wept,

declaring she was submitting herself to the wheelchair
and moving where no one could find her in the desert of west Texas.

Well, put your snot rags away, you mangy varmints,
she’s singing a new song.

She’s buying a smaller house on forty acres right here in Oklahoma.

She’s keeping her dogs.

And her horses.

She’s discovered a new natural supplement
and is going to kick this sorry disease’s butt,
as soon as she gains a bit more strength.

Crohns, you didn’t win this round.

I know. I am about as predictable as a hormonal wildcat who missed her daily dose of valium.
I couldn’t do it.
I just couldn’t do it.
Leave the state, my kids, my critters, my way of life.
Not yet, anyway.
Somehow, we are going to figure out a way to make this work.
Thank you, you beautiful peoples, for all your sweet words
as I find my way through this challenge.  I love you.
We have made an offer on this place closer to the city.

We’ll take the washer and dryer,
the coffee table
and the breakfast bar and bar stools.

We threw in the bunkhouse refrigerator, as well.  It goes with the breakfast bar, of course.

Seriously, the more they keep, the less work for me.  And it makes me feel good to know they like the style of the ranch’s decor.  Or maybe they are just going to make a killing on Craigslist.

Looks as though we have made a deal and Watering Hole Ranch has found new caretakers.

Funny thing, I’ve yet to respond emotionally that we have actually sold the ranch. Maybe it will hit me later. You know it will. There is just too much to do right now, in a short amount of time. 

Six weeks.

*faints to the floor*

Six weeks to find homes for my critters.  More than likely, the horses, too.  I cannot even conceive my life without Hubba and Handsome.

Six weeks to give away/sell things we will not be taking with us.

Six weeks to pack.

Six weeks to figure out what we are going to do with the guest house and how to get it off the ranch.  There is now pipe fencing where it once came in, there is no way it is going out the same way it came.

Six weeks to find a place to live.

Nothing like flying by the seat of your pants.  It’s just how woodland fairies roll, I guess. (thank you, Macy)

We are headed to west Texas today to check out the Terlingua Ranch/Big Bend area.  Waiting to hear back from a real estate agent to see if he can show us a few properties. Short notice, so not for sure if that will be happening. But, at the very least, we can check out the area.

We are thinking we will probably just rent something in the area and get a feel for this new desert land, until we find the right place. 

Confession. This morning I opened my computer and started to scour over the Oklahoma properties I had marked.  I was ready to bail on Texas.  My knees are a little shaky.  I think I would feel way more super hero, if I were in remission.  It’s messing up my wild woman mojo.

But, then I look at this, and know everything will be okay.

No.

Everything will be glorious.

They want the ranch,

the wagon,

the wagon wheels,

the sectional sofa,

the entertainment center,

the dining table and ten chairs,

the hutch,

the six bunk beds

all at $38,000 below price.

I’m drawing the line if they ask for my comfy flannel pj bottoms.

I’m tough like that.

Seriously, we had offered options for potential buyers, since this furniture was purchased specifically for this place and is offensively too big to fit into any home we will downsize into eventually. The furniture and wagon really do belong here, so I am thankful they like it enough to keep it.

We have countered with our must have price to cover loan and real estate fees. 

Last night was an emotional one, since it is probable we will be able to agree to terms with these potential buyers.  It’s hard letting go.  So much to release before we move onto this new lifestyle change my health is relentlessly pushing us towards. 

The hardest part is recognizing my inability to continue dog rescue at this demanding level.  Lots of fits and tears over this decision.  For months I have labored this issue in my soul. 

I need your help.

I need help finding healthy placements for all but two of our nine canines.  We will be keeping Cactus Jack and Josey.  I know I joke about the neurotic state of my pack, but there is truth behind it. They are all pretty special needs in the sense of their behaviors.  This is why they ended up at the pound or on the street.  These dogs have unique make-ups and backgrounds and will require extreme patience and commitment.

If you think you might be interested in providing a home for one of these neurotic critters, lets talk.  I know you mangy varmints love me and feel the need to help, but this can’t be an emotional decision.  You can’t do it for me.  It has to be for the dog.  The one thing I do not want to happen is for you to end up with a dog that is an unhealthy match and you and the dog end up miserable or the dog ends up being passed on to yet another home. 

I will try to post a write-up and photo of each dog available for placement today or tomorrow.

Thank you for listening and for being so supportive as I learn to release this part of my life. I love you, you mangy varmints.

There ought to be a law to keep weepy wild women off the internet.

Life
she’s a female dog
and when her teeth take hold
of your backside,
she can leave the mark of the beast.

I may need a rabies shot.

Winter Scavenger Hunt
#2 Write a poem entitled Dog Bite.

Seven dollar Hilton eggs
hens should be outraged
must be seasoned with gold dust

whopping six fifty a pop
Jack Daniels whiskey
a loaded drunk would go broke

a bowl of steaming oatmeal
full of plump raisins
I think I will save my ten bucks

No valet parking at the waffle house.

Winter Scavenger Hunt #40
Write 12 haiku about food.

Here are my first three for #40, from the downtown Austin Hilton. Cowgirl is used to the simple comforts of the Holiday Inn Express, complimentary breakfast buffet, no tipping and free in-room WiFi.  Can you believe the Hilton charges $14.95 a day for access to their internet?  Per COMPUTER.  I loves me a bit of luxury every now and then, but this causes my frugal to tilt.  Thankfully this is a business trip and the majority will be covered.  Not for sure how MM rubs elbows so easily with the professionals.  When we walked into the lobby, me in my raggedy jeans and boots, I felt like a hooker he had picked up in Amarillo.  Yes, you may laugh. 

edit: I am laughing so hard right now. When I came onto xanga this morning, I realized I had flipped my haiku. Instead of 5-7-5, for whatever reasons, I went 7-5-7.  No wonder it didn’t feel right, felt so forced.  I am totally blaming it on being in the city. Too many buildings blocking my mojo. 

I have much to tell you.

My soul of souls has questioned much these past few days.

It has

listened

thrown fits

denied

gave up expired dreams

only to discover new paths

that were really only old paths

waiting for me to walk them.

I thought these paths were for much later,
my much later has come early.

I am ready to roll with it.
I’ve made my peace.

My body will now join my soul somewhere off the map.

No.  I am not dying.  Work with me people.  Put your snot rag away.

If you follow my Pinterest, you might have already figured it out.
But as always, a lot of dominoes have to fall into place.

update: I am now liquids only, it is finally bringing my digestive system some relief! I should be able to be around this coming week.  MM is taking me with him to Texas, while he meets with clients, I will be in the hotel room with lots of time on my hands.  I want to play in @anvilsandedelweiss Winter Scavenger Hunt. Check out the list and pick a few.  See you next week!